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A fart between the shadows
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2009|11:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Cynic - "Unknown Guest" | ] |
Forget the FBI, CIA, and all that, I figured out the way to capture Al Queida (however you spell it)..............
OK, we go along the border of Afghanistan/Pakistan, and find the caves where the terrorists are hiding out. We bring along 300 of the most hardcore potheads, and have them literally smoke out the terrorists, while we have the ultimate munchie foods (Skittles, Pringles, nachos, etc.) laying just outside. At first, they could resist, but really, how long can you survive 24 hour munchies? I do think after a while, the munchies could become terminal. There isn't shit to eat in the caves, and if there was, you'd want to eat a Twinkie rather than troglodytes and cave slime.
Imagine you're a terrorist. But one day the government smokes up your house, and there's unbreakable glass with this in front:
Fuck the 21 virgins, I'd rather take a nice, fat, roast beef sandwich. It makes me grow one of those manly David Hasselhoff chest-beards. Sometimes, I think he actually has two stylists. One to groom his head hair, and specialist that has to groom his chest hair. And probably someone very very familiar with jungles and rainforests to groom you know where.
Oh yeah, I'd rather jack off than fuck Nicole Kidman. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 13th, 2009|08:01 am] |
Today marks 10 years since I moved to Chicago. Haven't bothered looking back at it all, but now that I have.......... What a wild fucking journey! Barely 18, $200 in my pocket and a Walkman (no I didn't have an MP3 player, and no idea where exactly I was going in the city or how to get here.......... but here I am in the city I love all this time later. I still don't know why I moved here other than I hated where I was living (Hampton, VA), and was bored haha. But I definitely don't regret it.
Like an old friend told me 'get out there and fuck without a rubber' (metaphorically speaking, lol). Life's too fucking short to do things you don't need or enjoy.
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 12th, 2009|05:47 am] |
Limp Bizkit has reunited.
Now I feel like burying myself alive. It's a truly sick, sad world.
But on the bright side there is 'Stagnetti's Revenge" (which lawmakers are trying to get banned from colleges), which is a big budget X-rated porno (by porn standards of high budget) mixed with a pirate film and 'Army Of Darkness'.
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2009|04:28 am] |
Ever wonder what viking and death metal would sound like mixed with reggae? |
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| A part from the book I'm working on......... |
[Apr. 7th, 2009|11:56 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | art, poems, writing | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Alphaville - "Fools" | ] |
AJENEDAD
In a world of empty, endless waves, the giants of your hopes can either hold you out, drop, you or crush you..................... but when the fatal waves reach it's knees, your fate has been decided........... But if these giants were to lay at peace with these waves, they would change and become the landscape forever............ Tell me, my friend, and talk with your hand towards those who need like you would talk to me........... Tell me, my friend.......... have you ever known a friend at all? Time is just a shadow, and every second is a final moment we hold onto for all time.......... There is no hand on the clock that will reach my throat or speak for me, for I've gathered the shadows of time along this trail of tears......... But the rain is mine, and something, the only thing that can never be taken away from me.............. But the wind stole my tears long before they could be claimed..........
A chain of hands can only start to reclaim those lost seconds in the world........... Dancing deep into your endless brown eyes, mi victoria ajenedad, emperatriz de universa............. and I've always cried those tears you dropped into my eyes. Through those tears I raised my eyes, they are the most beautiful rain, and even without you here, you carry my heart through my life like an angel...............
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| Score One For Women's Rights In The Middle East! |
[Mar. 31st, 2009|11:44 pm] |
“He will lie in front of me drugged. I will feel my way to his eyes and then drop 20 drops of acid in each eye".
http://www.bild.de/BILD/news/bild-english/world-news/2009/03/26/acid-attack-revenge-eye-for-an-eye/iran-court-allows-victim-to-blind-culprit.html
It's the ultimate case of an eye for an eye - a judge has given an Iranian woman permission to pour acid into a man's eye after the spurned suitor blinded her by doing the same thing.
After 17 operations, Ameneh Bahrami is desperate for revenge and has been given the green light by a Tehran court.
“He will lie in front of me drugged. I will feel my way to his eyes and then drop 20 drops of acid in each eye,” Ameneh (30) explained.
“It has come so far,” she told a BILD reporter in Barcelona, where she now lives. “I will have retribution on April 15.”
The electrical engineer was attacked by Majid Emovahedi (25) because she had constantly turned down his marriage proposals.
His whole family had put pressure on her to wed him, but she was resolute: “No, I will never marry him.”
Majid waited for her as she left work in September 2004 and threw sulphuric acid over her head. She went blind immediately.
Ameneh Bahrami moved to Spain, where she has had 17 operations on her eyes and face.
Her desire for revenge has grown. She will return to Iran, wearing jeans and a t-shirt under her chador.
“My father and siblings won’t be there. They don’t want to see it.
"But my mother and friends will accompany me to make sure I don’t pour the acid on myself when I put it in his eyes.”
Majid Emovahedi will be held down by prison officials and under anaesthetic at the time. He won’t feel anything as Ameneh pours the acid on his face. A doctor will be wearing gloves to hold Majid’s eyes open so she can squeeze the acid in.
“My mother will do it for me if I don’t manage it,” Ameneh added, “but I hope that won’t be necessary. I want to execute the punishment myself, because it is my issue.
"I don’t want my mother to feel guilty. I am sure she would because revenge is a bad thing.”
But she herself unashamedly wants revenge: “He made fun of me in front of the court. Now he is whimpering for mercy, asking me to leave him at least one eye.
"But it is too late for that.”
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| My God, I Love Hate Mail, It's So Brutal! |
[Mar. 24th, 2009|02:41 am] |
Haha, an awesome anonymous response to my epic and insightful article about how Insane Posse is made for people who've never picked their knuckles off the ground:
"man fuck this shit icp is the shit u need to stop hatin emenem can suck a dick he is just pissed that icp never showed up to his birthday and you really need to watch what u type if a pig were to read this they would try and track you down for u sayin you would give your kid a curb job if they were a juggalo."
(1). Holy, shit, I have to watch my back for the cops now, even though I have no kids (or intend on having any) to give of my own to give a curbjob to! They might have to tazer and arrest me when they catch me giving a curbjob to a Cabbage Patch Kid after reading that article. Damn, the Bush Administration's violated my privacy and human rights worse than I ever though possible! This has to be in the Patriot Act somewhere.
(2). Emenem last I checked has a child, meaning he somehow managed to get laid with a woman. Second, I don't give two shits about Emenem, but in this case he's obviously been with a woman before deciding to jump ship and start sucking dick as this gentleman says. I can see it on the cover of People magazine: "Emenem: 'I Have A Dick Addiction'". Oh, whoops, that's this guy talking on a subliminal level about his love for the noo-noo all while being blatently homophobic. Don't be afraid to be open, alot of people like sucking dick, and it's a fun hobby for alot of people from all walks of life!
(3). If you were my kid, I'd skip the curbjob, spare you, and have the sergeant from 'Full Metal Jacket' parent you, 24 HOURS A DAY. Oh and you'd have to get a job. Sorry, daddy'd have way too much time for bars, koosh, movies, jerking off, and strippers to be around. Have fun!
(4). 
Wow. Years later, and ICP fans still look like rodeo clowns/gimps.
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